It’s Christmas time and I’m writing…as you can see. I had a question for you: How are you at receiving/giving gifts? The last couple of posts I have written about gifts but I have yet to mention that when it comes to receiving gifts I am a child, meaning my whole face lights up and more often then not I yell the word “REALLY?”. I’m pretty sure it’s been that way for as long as I can remember. My wife will comment on it more than likely every Christmas (in a positive way) but I can’t help it. I’m amazed that people spend the time to think through a gift that they, knowing me, believe that I will love and I do.
My 29th birthday I received a really cool gift. Some friends of mine gave me a few days with a Porsche Cayman right from the dealer! I drove that thing from sun-up to sun-down and took everyone I knew for an…how can I say this…automotive experiment in kinetic energy, centrifugal force, and acceleration. It cornered harder than any car I have ever driven so I drove it through some really twisty roads. It stopped significantly faster than anything I have ever been in and that was mostly what I showed people when I drove it. The day I returned the car was a little sad but in the end I was never functioning under the lie that it was my car, I knew it was on loan. However I started realizing then that I believed somehow Jesus wanted to tease or “encourage” me through things like the Porsche (which was amazing) but that I would never own anything like that (a sports car, NOT a Porsche…see I can’t even bring myself to thinking even now that I could ever own such a car!). Ultimately the idea of dreaming for a gift, something out of your reach that alone you could never achieve, could and would never happen.
The Father provides everything for me. I have food, water, shelter, an amazing wife, two amazing sons, amazing friends, an amazing church, I’m healthy, I could go on and on and on, but asking for anything beyond what He has already provided, especially something of monetary value is selfish and self serving…at least that’s how I’ve seen it for so long.
Don’t you remember being a kid and asking your dad/mom/grandma/grandpa for something you totally didn’t need at the grocery store? You know that candy bar, hotwheels car, barbie doll, can of coke. My oldest son asks for a hotwheel almost every time we go to the store and I LOVE getting him one. He already has 100+ and I still want to give him more. A little over two years ago Jesus offered me a chance to begin asking him for something. My wife and I’s cars were beginning to decline and I knew with our family expanding, and with both my wife and I working we are pretty dependent on two cars. Jesus whispered so clearly in my ear, “Why don’t you ask me for a car?”. So I did, I asked Him for something practical because that’s what we needed, I asked for a van. He immediately came back with “Really?, You want a van? What do you really want?” I was surprised, but I went for a slightly less practical option and asked for a used Volvo V70r station wagon, an all-wheel drive station wagon with 300hp, so I could be a dad but feel like I wasn’t driving a van. This time, like a Dad trying to get his son’s attention, He said, “Robbie, seriously, what do you dream of owning?” Now, mind you, I didn’t hear Him say Name it and claim it! I heard a Dad asking his son, whom He is head-over-heals for “What gift can I give you?” Gratuitous, extra, not-needed, undeserved. So I asked for a 2015 Subaru WRX Sti Launch edition. He replied “good, keep asking, every day”. So I have and you know what? I…don’t have one. Two years and I don’t have the car that He asked me to ask Him for.
I’ve learned so much in these two years about His desire to love me, just by asking every day for this gift. To be completely honest I’ve almost given up hope that the reason that I ask is for the car itself but maybe He will surprise me. I don’t believe the reason I’ve been asking these last two years is for nothing, nor do I believe it has been a waste of my time because I have grown closer to my Heavenly Father then I ever thought possible. Every conversation and ask has been worth it.
I say all of this with a hotwheel sitting to the left of my computer as I type. It’s a Subaru WRX Sti. My Dad gives good gifts, I may be tired of asking but He is faithful and the little tiny red sports car on my table reminds me of His faithfulness.
Confession: The hardest part about writing something like this is that the little voice in the back of my head is loud. It speaks things like “First world problems” or “How could you ask for such a thing when some many go with out basic needs”. I’m sure He asked me to ask Him and so I’ll get my hopes up and love people in every way possible along the way as I do it.
I’m currently contemplating driving the hotwheels car on my table across every table in this coffee shop while making car sounds as I do it. #coolguyawardgoestome